Dancing in the Light
/Because in times like these, we all need to take time to dance in LIGHT!
Bask in it.
Close your eyes.
Kick your shoes off.
And, dance like no one is watching.
#BuyBlack Spotlight: Iman Cosmetics
/
I started following the beauty brand on Instagram two months ago after seeing a beautifully rich wine-colored lipstick while exploring the app. I immediately liked the picture and then left a comment under the picture asking about the name of the lipstick and where I could purchase it. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that they sold the lipstick and other Iman Cosmetics products at Walgreens.
I have known about Iman Cosmetics for years. I remember when it started over a decade ago as beauty brand that made makeup for women of color. But for a long time, I thought it was a high-end makeup brand like MAC or Dior that was only sold at department stores and that cost between $30 to $50 per item. This past year I have seen Iman Cosmetics featured on various best beauty brand lists in Essence and Ebony magazines.
After finding the lip color (which is Iman Luxury Moisturizing Lipstick in Opal) in one of my local Walgreens stores in Boston (and seeing the affordable price of $10), I decided to finally try out the brand. I went to the beauty brand's website imancosmetics.com and downloaded their suggested Iman Cosmetics Beauty app, which provided customized Iman product recommendations to match my unique Color Signature, based on facial recognition technology that analyzed my skin tone. The app helped me identify my concealer and foundation matches and also suggested lipsticks and eye shadows that would work well with my skin tone.
For my first purchase, I bought the Iman Luxury Moisturizing Lipstick in Rebel, Iman Second-to-None
in Clay 4, Iman
in Earth, and Iman Luxury
in Honey from walgreens.com (also available at amazon.com). The products arrived at my house within 5 days. I tried each product out immediately and I fell in LOVE with them.
The concealer and stick foundation matched my skin color so well and provided such great coverage. When I wore it, my friends and my family immediately noticed the difference and complimented me on my makeup. Iman Cosmetics makeup products gave me such a beautiful, healthy glow. Within a month, I got my mom and my best friend to purchase and try out Iman Cosmetics products. I also purchased two more lipsticks, another lip shimmer, and the new Iman
in Earth 3.
As a black woman, I really appreciate the quality, price, availability, and color options of Iman Cosmetics. I am tired giving my money to beauty brands that do not care enough to create products that match my skin color. Creating one or two "dark" or "brown" foundation or concealer for women with brown pigmented skin is ridiculous, exclusionary, and outdated. Black, latina, and other non-white women come in a variations of colors and make up significant portion of the female population. We need more than one or two shades to cover our beautifully diverse skin colors (I am looking at your Maybelline. Your
FIT ME Matte & Poreless Foundation
has only one color for brown skin). Iman Cosmetics is made for us by us (F.U.B.U). Model and creator Iman is a beauty icon with a passion for creating products that match ALL women, from the very fair-skinned to the very dark- skinned.
I have been searching for new makeup products for women of color, after my local Target stopped carrying Covergirl Queen Collection products (which I started using in 2010). Iman Cosmetics came into my life at the right time. As an advocate for supporting black-owned businesses, I have committed to making my personal cosmetics and beauty collection at least 90% black-owned beauty products by the end of 2017.
Ladies, I highly suggest you check out Iman Cosmetics. You won't regret it!!
Here are my three favorite Iman Cosmetics products thus far:
Learning to Let Go of "Them" and Get the Love and Happiness I Deserve
/
Sometimes you gotta let people go: fake friends, toxic folks, energy-sucks, drama-full family members, fuck boys, former loves, friends with (few) benefits.
Sometimes you gotta let things go: phone numbers of former love interests, clothes that haven't fit in 3+ years, overstretched hair elastics, broken electronics, worn out shoes, not safe for work or grandma's eyes sexy pictures of your former bae.
Sometimes you gotta let energies go: long-held hurts, emotional scars, old ideas, grudges, bad habits, doubts, insecurities, drama.
As much as I have grown personally and professionally this past year of my life, I have realized that I still have a lot of things that I need to figure out. One of the things I need to figure out in 2017 is how to let go of people who cause me nothing but unnecessary stress and heartache and whose presence in my life do not benefit me or give me the love and appreciation I want and need.
But I have a hard time letting go of the select people that I let into my heart. I am very protective of my heart and my personal space, so when I let people in, I hold onto them fiercely. I love hard. Even when these people I love show me how easily they have let me go, I hold on. I continue to care. I check in. I wish happy birthdays. I extend congratulations and well wishes. And, I rarely get anything back but hurt feelings.
To deal with my "letting go" problem, I have decided that I need a detox---a life detox.
There are some people whose phone numbers I delete and re-add and then delete again that I need to keep deleted. Some Facebook friends I unfriend and re-friend that I need to unfriend and keep it that way.
LET. THEM. GO....Close my eyes and inhale.... and then exhale them all out.
In order to Grow. to Evolve. to Change. to Heal. to be Happy. to be Sane. to be Healthy.
How I Wash and Retwist My Locs
/Had to start the new year with some fresh and clean locs. Check out my latest video chronicling my entire wash and retwist routine.
Products used in video:
Loreal EverPure Moisture Shampoo and Conditioner: http://amzn.to/2kyOL0k
Joie Naturals MyGel : http://amzn.to/2kyGut3
Laila Ali Iconic Soft Bonnet Dryer: http://amzn.to/2kyFF3F
Jamaican Mango and Lime Original Black Castor Oil : http://amzn.to/2k90I07
Hollywood Beauty Morocco Argan Oil: http://amzn.to/2kyOSJb
Buy Black On Black Friday: 13 Black-Owned Businesses For Your Holiday Shopping
/It is Thanksgiving. Since I got such a great response to my "Buy Black on Black Friday" shopping list last year, I decided to do it again. I have mix of some brands I love and some brands that I just discovered that you can find either online or in your local stores.
With an unpredictable four years ahead of us, it is important that we support the businesses of marginalized peoples--black-owned, women-owned, immigrant-owned, etc.
1.
- clothing
6.
- African print clothing
sale: up to 40% off; additional $25 off purchases of $200 with code: DRR1124
7.
- prints, accessories, and clothing
sale: $10 or more off all items; additional $5 off all orders $75+ with code: 5off ; additional $10 off all orders $120+ with code: 10off ; $20 off all orders $200+ with code: 20off
9.
- clothing
sale: Sale with Free Shipping with code: BLACKWALLSTREET (until 11/28)
10.
- lingerie and hosiery for women of color (also available at Nordstrom stores)
sale: 40% off Lace Collection with code: NSBLACKFRIDAY (until midnight 11/25)
11. Ty Lite - LED lighted phone cases (aka selfie phone cases)
sale: 50% off all cases (until 11/27)
12.
- beauty products for women of color (also available at Target and Walgreens stores)
I Refuse to Accept Less Than What I Bring to the Table
/Dating in your 30s is frustrating as fuck!?! Why, as a straight, educated, black woman in my 30s, am I expected to accept less from a man than what I bring to the table?
Storytime!
I met a guy on OkCupid. Let's call him Jean. Jean is dark, tall(er than me), attractive, 30-something black man. On the dating site, he seemed nice, thoughtful, and truly interested in getting to know me and dating (with the intention of developing a romantic relationship). Jean didn’t seem crazy and most importantly did not display any fuck boy tendencies. He was attentive and communicative without being thirsty or overbearing. So, when h
e asked for my number, I gave it to him and we began to get to know each other offsite, in the "real world".
However, as we talked more, I noticed a few things that irked me about
Jean
.
Number One! He didn’t go to college.
I understand that a college education is not the only measure of success and drive, but I did not get a feeling that he was on a career path. An electrician is on a career path because that type of work requires training, skill building, and certification (and they get paid well for the time and effort they put into their craft). Jean seemed more on a job path. And, again I know that not everyone has the freedom, drive, or resources to forgo a paying job to pursue their dream career. I myself am not working in dream career, but I am on the path. I am building networks and developing applicable skills for my dream career. But, again I know everyone's journey is different, some people's paths are short, some people's path are long, and some people's paths are crooked. Thus, in an effort to keep an open mind, I pushed aside my feelings about his lack of a college degree. The important thing was he was employed and was able to support himself.
Number Two! He is Catholic and it is important to him.
Religion is a touchy subject (along with politics). Somehow, we got on the subject of him being Catholic. I informed him that I was also Catholic. Jean thought this was great because he assumed that we would have no religion or faith-based issues. I immediately disagreed. Being born and raised Catholic does not play an important role in my life. I am more spiritual than religious. I believe in God and in living a life that is as moral and caring as possible. I disagree with the Catholic Church on several major issues, such as abortion, homosexuality, priests being men only, to name a few. Because I am not religious, I am weary of men who place religion high on their relationship priority list-- you know, the type of men who state that they are looking for a "Godly woman". I don't know what that means and I really don't want to know. But, in the case of Jean, he seemed to be okay with my views on religion, and he even shared a few of my views on the Catholic Church.
Then, it happened. The deal breaker! He asked me what I was looking for in a man.
I told him. I am looking for a man who is educated, career driven, and open-minded, loves traveling, eating good food, drinking strong drinks, and trying new things. Most importantly, I am looking for a man who is interested in building a relationship based on friendship, love, laughs, communication, and respect.
His response: Do you think that you are expecting too much???
What in the entire FUCK!!! I told him: No, I know what I need to be happy in a relationship. I am not expecting less from a man than what I bring to the table.
After I said this, Jean continued to press me about my relationship needs. He said that he is looking for a woman who is nice, respectful, family-oriented, and educated. Jean told me that I am expecting too much that may put stress on a relationship. I was flabbergasted and a bit annoyed.
My list is not long. This is not a
list. (Remember that show where Rozanda "Chilli" Thomas from TLC fame was looking for a husband but he had to fulfill a long checklist of requirements, including not smoking, not drinking, not eating pork, not having more than two baby mamas, and being fine with a six pack and a big penis.)
I am not looking for a man that fits 50 things on a must-have list. I am looking for love and happiness in a relationship, not contentment. I would rather be single than be in a relationship in which I am expected to lower my standards and push aside my wants, my desires, and my needs all in the name of having a man.
I do not need a man. I want a life partner who is also my best friend, lover, protector, co-parent, cheerleader, and ride-or-die. I am willing to comprise on my preferences on height, race, age, body type, income, musical taste, and family background.
But, I am not willing to accept less than what I need, want, and deserve.
With all that said, I end with this message to the all the "Jean's" out there:
Boy Bye!
Lemme Get This Off My Chest: Don't Mansplain My Feminism
/
Ladies, has this ever happened to you? You comment on a friend's post and a (male) stranger thinks that it is okay to mansplain to you about why YOUR decision to do or not so something is wrong.
Check out the video below to find out what I had to get off my chest:
