Dealing With A Frustrating Day That Develops Into a Frustrating Week

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Have you ever had a week that you wish you could skip? Just erase it from existence. For me, that week is this one. My professional frustration and personal relationships apparently had a secret meeting and decided that they were going to fuck with me this week, starting with what was supposed to be a relaxing and enjoyable Sunday that turned into a two hour sob and hid under the covers fest to a long frustrating Monday that refused to let me go home and rest to an emotionally charged and hair pulling Tuesday that is barely over. (I can't wait to see what Wednesday brings). 

With all of that said, I am pushing through and looking forward to bright spots that I know are coming later this week (i.e., getting to go backstage at Monica's Code Red concert on Sunday and laying on a Florida beach next Wednesday). What I am going through this week is all part of life. Life is full of ups and downs. I cannot control the feelings or actions of others. I cannot will good things to happen. I cannot make people stop hurting their own family members in the name of loyalty and family. 

What I can do is allow my anger, hurt, and frustrations their due time to work themselves out (side note: if you have seen the Pixar movie Inside Out, then you know that you need all of these emotions to function "normally.") Cry if I need to cry. Sigh if I need to sigh. Curse if I need to curse.  Let those emotions have their minute, hour, day, week, or month (but not year....not again). 

When all that is said and done, and I have gotten everything out, then I must get myself together and move forward.  

Ease on Down the Road (from The Wiz)

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I first learned this song at my after-school program at The Dorchester House, during our music class, and I have never forgot it. I had no idea it was from The Wiz until years later (when I was in college and building my movie culture knowledge via Netflix). It is my favorite song from the movie. Michael Jackson is amazing, providing the right amount of joy and wonder in his performance that makes you want to come along with him and Dorothy down the yellow brick road.

Check out the song in the video below:

What Would I Do if I Could Feel (from The Wiz)

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I am still riding high from that amazing live production of The Wiz that aired on NBC last Thursday. Although this was not in the version they performed, "What Would I Do If I Could Feel,"sung by Nipsey Russell as the TinMan is one of my favorite songs from the movie The Wiz. If you have never seen it, check it out below.

White Terrorist Bingo: Planned Parenthood Edition

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Head over to your local news outlet and see how many of the key words they pull out during a mass shooting report. Get five in a row and you win

a bulletproof blanket

(adult and kid sizes available). Join the fun, folks. Because demonizing black and brown shooting victims and humanizing white domestic terrorists are all part of what makes America "Great."

(On a serious note: If you haven't already, check out the web series Decoded on youtube. MTV Decoded is a weekly series on MTV News where the fearless Franchesca Ramsey tackles race, pop culture, and other uncomfortable things, in funny and thought-provoking ways. Half sketch comedy, half vlog. New episodes every Wednesday.)

What I Am Reading: World War Z By Max Brooks

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Moving forward with my movie-to-book reading series, I am currently reading "World War Z: An Oral History Of The Zombie War" by Max Brooks. I heard a few things about the book after the 2013 movie of the same starring Brad Pitt premiered, particularly that the movie was an adaptation of the book in name only.

I am half way through "World War Z" and I can see why fans of the book were so upset about the movie. The book and the movie are thematically two different stories. The book is a series of different people's accounts of the worldwide zombie outbreak and war, as told to the interviewer/narrator. The movie (which I enjoyed despite my fear of zombies), is an action/adventure zombie movie, which features fast running zombies, armed forces fighting zombie hordes, a worldwide search for a cure, a plane crash, and a tense final scene set in a World Health Organization infectious diseases research laboratory.

I don't understand what Brad Pitt and his production company Plan B were thinking when they wrote, shot, and produced the 2013 movie, under the title "World War Z." The book's plot reminds me a more of Steven Soderbergh's 2011 multi-narrative "medical outbreak" movie "Contagion", which featured an all-star ensemble cast of Laurence Fishburne, Jude Law, Marion Cotillard, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kate Winslet, and Matt Damon, than the  single-narrative "28 Days Later"-type ravenous infected/zombie movie that Pitt and co. created.

Because I was expecting the book to be an action-packed zombie thriller like the movie, I have been a bit disappointed with the book's plot and pacing. So far, there has been more stories of people's reactions to the zombie outbreak than of them fighting, encountering, or fleeing from zombies. But, there are some really interesting stories about people's encounters with zombies and the absolute ineptitude of some world governments in dealing with the initial outbreak of the zombie plague.   

If you are planning on checking out "World War Z: An Oral History Of The Zombie War," I highly suggest you get the

newest audiobook version of this novel,

which features a star-filled voice cast including Common, Alfred Molina, Martin Scorsese, Mark Hamil, Rob Reiner, John Turturro, and many more.  

Book Summary: 

We survived the zombie apocalypse, but how many of us are still haunted by that terrible time? We have (temporarily?) defeated the living dead, but at what cost? Told in the haunting and riveting voices of the men and women who witnessed the horror firsthand, World War Z is the only record of the plague years. 

Miss Jill Scott Is The Real Thing (In Stereo)

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Miss Jill Scott rocked Boston last night at the Orpheum Theatre. She is amazing, cool, sexy, relatable, talented, and all-round great talent. She sounds even better in person than she does on her records. I swear the sound of Jill Scott's voice could make a deaf man hear.

If you have never seen Miss Jill Scott perform live, I highly recommend you get a ticket to one of her shows in a city near you. It is definitely worth the cost of admission and the travel. For now, check out my video of her performing one of her first hits, "The Way."

My Top 5 Jill Scott Songs

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It is the first day of the last month of 2015. YAY!!! Praise baby and grown Jesus! And I am ready to end this year with a bang.

Tonight I am going to see the amazing Jill Scott perform (for the 2nd time in my life) at the Orpheum Theatre in Boston. After recently watching her perform on the 2015 Soul Train Awards (where she was honored with the Lady of Soul Award), I am so so so excited about seeing her live and in person.  

So, in anticipation of my Jill Scott experience tonight, I have compiled a list of my top 5 Jill Scott songs (in no particular order) to get me through the day. Sit back and enjoy the smooth sounds of Ms. Jill Scott aka Jilly from Philly.

Album--The Real Thing: Words and Sounds Vol. 3

Album--Who Is Jill Scott? (Words and Sounds, Vol. 1)

Album--The Real Thing: Words and Sounds, Vol. 3

Album--The Light Of The Sun

Album--Woman

CB4 - I'm Black Y'all

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Woke up this song on my soul. I am about to get very BLACK on my students today. We are going to be talking about power, racism, police brutality, protest, and the criminalization of black bodies in my Social Inequality class and I am coming with Facts--video of Laquan McDonald's police-sanctioned brutal murder, pictures of student-led protests across this nation, and a poignant tweet about the recent Planned Parenthood shooting and the police's treatment of that violent murder versus their treatment of young unarmed black men around this country. STAY WOKE, FOLKS! #veryblackproject

The Woman In Me (Needs The Man In You)

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If I had to pick one song to describe my view on love, this song would be it. Shania says it all in this beautifully written and sung song from her first album. I have posted below the lyrics and the video so you can fully get the depth of emotion expressed in this song. 

Shania Twain - Woman In Me (Needs The Man In You)

I'm not always strong

And sometimes I'm even wrong

But I win when I choose

And I can't stand to lose

But I can't always be

The rock that you see

When the nights get too long

And I just can't go on

The woman in me

Needs you to be

The man in my arms

To hold tenderly

Cause I'm a woman in love

And it's you I run to

Yeah the woman in me

Needs the man in you

When the world wants too much

And it feels cold and out of touch

It's a beautiful place

When you kiss my face

The woman in me

Needs you to be

The man in my arms

To hold tenderly

Cause I'm a woman in love

And it's you I run to

Yeah the woman in me

Needs the man in you

Yeah the woman in me

Needs the man in you

I need you baby

Yeah yeah Oh baby...

My Heart's Soundtrack

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I started off this blog talking very candidly about my love life, and my current journey of dating in my 30s (which sucks). If you know me off this blog, then you have probably heard the tales about my romantic-comedy/sex-in-the-city/Shonda-Rhimes-show love life. Ever since I discovered boys, and they discovered me, my love life has been far from dull.

Toya T loved the boys. And, when I was younger, I was like a wild horse, constantly seeking, running from one thrill, one sensation to the next. Having a boyfriend did not stop me from flirting or basking in the attention of another guy because I loved the feeling of being desired/loved/wanted/pursued. I craved that feeling, that intense yearning for new sensations. That is how I saw love and relationships. I enjoyed the ebb and flow of meeting a guy, flirting, exchanging numbers, talking, hanging out, making out, having sex, dating, and moving on to next guy/experience/sensation. I fell in love. I fell in lust. I got my heartbroken. I broke hearts and hurt feelings. I cried. I yelled. I forgave. I gave second and third chances. I loved hard. I learned, and I loved again.

As I have gotten older, my thoughts on love and relationships have changed. Mr. Wrong For Me (remember him from "

My Mother Doesn't Want Me To Marry 'My Father'

") chased me down and bridled my wandering spirit. Unfortunately, he had no intentions of riding me. He liked having me in his stable and I allowed myself to wander in and out of his stable for over 10 years. But that saga is a story for another day (if you are interested in how it began and how it ended).

In between all of these moments, I had great music providing the soundtrack to my heart. The songs I posted below are my heart's top 10. When I couldn't express how I felt, these songs said it all. Each one represents a different moment in my heart's journey, whether they were one of my great loves, torrid affairs, and/or wrenching heartbreaks.

Sit back and take a journey through my heart (they are in no particular order).

Dedicating this song to Mr. Wrong For Me...

Dedicating this song to Mr. O...

Dedicating this song to Mr. Wrong For Me...

Dedicating this song to Jersey...

Dedicating this song to Mr. Wrong For Me...

Dedicating this song to Mr. Wrong For Me...

Dedicating this song to Mr. Wrong For Me...

Dedicating this song to Mr. Wrong For Me...

Dedicating this song to Mr. Wrong For Me...

Dedicating this song to Jersey

***Happy Birthday to Mr. Wrong For Me***